A continuation of “The Title” …
Worse I ask, “Baby-girl, what you aspire to be?” She reply to me like, “why you perspiring me?” b**.. Pardon me if I’m sweating you but, I wanna see something else in you before I invest in you –Wale (The Ambitious Girl)
Im not tryna pressure you, just cant stop thinking bout’ you, you aint even really go to be my girlfriend, i just wanna know your name, and maybe sometime, we could hook up, we could hang out, we could just chill –Musiq Soulchild (Just Friends)
Its cool, we aint gotta be nothing, yea its true, i’d actually prefer it. –Jhene Aiko (It’s Cool)
All these song influences of the past and present represent a mindset people have been sporting lately, especially the new generation. It but also reflects the “situation-ship” trend and fear.
Does a Title dictate your happiness?
Title Validation. I think people want titles so that they can validate the things they really want to do without them seeming pointless. If you want to do certain things with a person, being in a relationship with them makes it look better to others. It softens the blow and makes you feel better. But i’ve seen people jump from relationship to relationship and use it as an excuse like “but he was my boyfriend at the time so it didn’t matter.” Just because you get intimate and spend time with someone does not make them your man.
What is your definition of a boyfriend/girlfriend?
This is what society makes us. Your friends badger you with questions like ” Do you love him yet? ” and ” Are yall officially together now “, but it’s like what is the rush? You need to get to know somebody inside and out before you give them that type of access to you. There are going to be things you like and things you dislike about someone. This is where you observe, if you don’t like certain things about that person you can take it or leave it. You may not even have the same goals as them. Most people rush into relationships not knowing the other persons flaws until later on when its too late.
SOCIAL MEDIA VALIDATION
You are giving people access to your personal life and freedom to give you commentary on it. You let them all the way in. They know when you are happy, when you are sad. You vent online and display through posts what you are going through. People are either going to be obsessed with your relationship or hate on it. So everyone is invested in it, not just you guys. And if and when you do breakup, breaking up will be an embarrassment, everyone will notice and the breakup will be public.
Social Media Validation. A social media post does not validate shit in the real world. If social media didn’t exist, relationships would only be known to the naked eye. Outsiders would see you in public and make what they want of it. But, because we get consumed in social media we need to post our private lives on it to let others know we are taken before they get to know us. If she posted him on her social media account he’s her man or if he doesn’t post her he isn’t claiming her. These little things make conflict in WEAK relationships everyday. Yes you can make your partner relevant on social media but it does not dictate the importance of your relationship.
Just think about it. What if you started dating a woman that did not have any social media and just lived in the real world? Would it make you look at things different?
And don’t try to run with this and say oh i gotta get a girl with no social media and don’t think you gotta post less or not at all anymore. You just gotta get your insecurities and priorities straight. I get you all want respect online, you want your significant other to present themselves in a respective way online. You don’t want them to send certain smiley faces and flirt with others and the attention they get scares us, makes you jealous and insecure. But this is where you ask yourself why are you insecure and it forces you to be secure with yourself. In fact, what if that person got attention in person instead of online. Would that change your look of it?
This generation seems to not care if you show them off in public but online presence means everything. If you don’t post her as your WCW you don’t love her, if you don’t post him as your MCM you’re hiding it. We’re looking for the acceptance of the others instead of ourselves. I realize people can’t live for themselves and be independent if society doesn’t attach us to someone. If you don’t post anybody you’re LONELY, and if you post a different person every week, you “got the hoes” aka promiscuous.
Lots of celebrities and Hollywood relationships that are on display encourage you to aspire to be them, better yet aspire you to be in the lime light. We saw what happened to Chris Brown and Karrueche,Amber Rose and Wiz etc. Why did we see it? Because they display their lives openly, they let the world in. We get to form our opinions, we get to comment on their lives and on what we THINK we know about them. But what do we really know?
I just want to let you guys know this. Maintain your mystery, keep your personal life to a minimum. This is a tactic my mother taught me at a young age to keep people out of my business. “Keep em’ on a need to know” – Wale TAAN (The Need to Know ft. SZA) Think about what people NEED to know and what they don’t.
Think About it For real.
Comment below to share your thoughts, opinions, debates are all welcomed! 🙂