Choosing YOU

We all have the trials and tribulations in life. Speaking for my generation i guess. Those in our 20s, looking for our next step. Looking for ourselves in our ideas and choices. Some people are even looking for themselves in other people. The weary life of bills, jobs, school expenses and such. We set small goals and dream of the big ones in hopes that they are in the near future. I think we should make those goals NOW. Lets set them up one by one even through it all.

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Lets finally get personal into MY struggles. I am at a job that i am very content with but I’m also in school. I had to stop school for a little bit because not all of us get financial aid assistance from the government or our parents. Am i right? Well i’m one of those who have to do it their self. One of those who have to make a proper living in order to push my family a little further. Its not always WAM BAM DONE for us all. Some of us don’t have college trust funds and help every step of the way.

I am however, in the right job field for my major and i keep moving up in it so i’m on the right path. My resume grows in the right direction and i am proud of myself. I am moving at my own speed and with my own wishes. Patience with myself and trusting my talent is all i need.

Then i had to take a hiatus from Eclectic Shrine and all my sappy poems you read in my past.  Life Happens. I wasn’t out with friends and in a creative space, i was dealing with real life shit. I was no longer in a comfortable space and had to focus on more important things. Then when i got over that hump things started falling into place. I was starting to see myself clearly. Noticing my lessons, what i wanted, what i didn’t want.  I eventually fell into happiness again. I fell into the moment of life, without writing and without social media. Happiness that took me away taking from my regular hobbies and writing habits.

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Not to mention, I haven’t been in a relationship since i created this blog and now i am. I have new perspective and outlooks. Never had to write about happiness before and i wondered how does that even make sense? Am i a better writer when i’m hurt? Right now i am sooo in love that i can’t seem to create. Is it a distraction? Or am i just living in the moment, trying to soak up all i’ve been missing.

Am i choosing me? Are you ‘Choosing YOU”. Getting love and returning it with ease. The clarity of joining mutual goals with someone and growing together and individually is beautiful. Just laying back loving and living is sooo easy. Its peace. But my partner loves me so much he encourages me to create, he inspires me and reminds me to chase myself.

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The pressure of this world is not easy either. We get things thrown at us at random moments. Good and bad. We see everyone we know moving up, doing good and doing bad, having families and working towards their dreams. Do you feel the pressure? Don’t.

We all have different journeys. We all have different lives. Hate to be a downer, but some people don’t figure themselves out or their lives out until their middle aged. I’m like 22 years old trying to jump to the sun and putting all this pressure on myself. Don’t jump into a thing now because its what you’re SUPPOSED to do. Jump into things you love, try them all out before you realize later that you might have to start over.  But then again NO, do it all, do it wrong and do it right. Try it all. I mean whatever route suits you, no pressure.

I personally just started realizing all my goals are coming to my attention all at once. I have tuition, career goals, relationship growths, and traveling ideas. Its all overwhelming, but step by step i will get there. I don’t have the answers either.

Oh and i hate to stress this AGAIN. BUT, Social media validation will get you depressed. Ever heard the quote “hope your life is as awesome as it appears to be on ____?” well yeah. Don’t let the posts of others confuse or intimidate you for direction or your pace. Follow and be inspired by the positive ones who encourage you to stand out as yourself, not to fit into what everyone else is doing. Don’t be victim to the norm. Find YOUR niche. Think for yourself. Choose you and your mind.

Life gives no answers, the confusion of not knowing and just living gives us the balance of anxiety and excitement.

Here’s to a life that is to be continued and choosing to complete the puzzle that is you.

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Artwork by one of my favorite artists Christina Nicola. I pull a lot of feeling and inspiration from her work she is very talented!

Instagram : @christina.nicola

Website : http://www.christinanicola.me

 

 

 

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