Category Archives: Self Love

Choosing YOU

We all have the trials and tribulations in life. Speaking for my generation i guess. Those in our 20s, looking for our next step. Looking for ourselves in our ideas and choices. Some people are even looking for themselves in other people. The weary life of bills, jobs, school expenses and such. We set small goals and dream of the big ones in hopes that they are in the near future. I think we should make those goals NOW. Lets set them up one by one even through it all.

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Lets finally get personal into MY struggles. I am at a job that i am very content with but I’m also in school. I had to stop school for a little bit because not all of us get financial aid assistance from the government or our parents. Am i right? Well i’m one of those who have to do it their self. One of those who have to make a proper living in order to push my family a little further. Its not always WAM BAM DONE for us all. Some of us don’t have college trust funds and help every step of the way.

I am however, in the right job field for my major and i keep moving up in it so i’m on the right path. My resume grows in the right direction and i am proud of myself. I am moving at my own speed and with my own wishes. Patience with myself and trusting my talent is all i need.

Then i had to take a hiatus from Eclectic Shrine and all my sappy poems you read in my past.  Life Happens. I wasn’t out with friends and in a creative space, i was dealing with real life shit. I was no longer in a comfortable space and had to focus on more important things. Then when i got over that hump things started falling into place. I was starting to see myself clearly. Noticing my lessons, what i wanted, what i didn’t want.  I eventually fell into happiness again. I fell into the moment of life, without writing and without social media. Happiness that took me away taking from my regular hobbies and writing habits.

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Not to mention, I haven’t been in a relationship since i created this blog and now i am. I have new perspective and outlooks. Never had to write about happiness before and i wondered how does that even make sense? Am i a better writer when i’m hurt? Right now i am sooo in love that i can’t seem to create. Is it a distraction? Or am i just living in the moment, trying to soak up all i’ve been missing.

Am i choosing me? Are you ‘Choosing YOU”. Getting love and returning it with ease. The clarity of joining mutual goals with someone and growing together and individually is beautiful. Just laying back loving and living is sooo easy. Its peace. But my partner loves me so much he encourages me to create, he inspires me and reminds me to chase myself.

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The pressure of this world is not easy either. We get things thrown at us at random moments. Good and bad. We see everyone we know moving up, doing good and doing bad, having families and working towards their dreams. Do you feel the pressure? Don’t.

We all have different journeys. We all have different lives. Hate to be a downer, but some people don’t figure themselves out or their lives out until their middle aged. I’m like 22 years old trying to jump to the sun and putting all this pressure on myself. Don’t jump into a thing now because its what you’re SUPPOSED to do. Jump into things you love, try them all out before you realize later that you might have to start over.  But then again NO, do it all, do it wrong and do it right. Try it all. I mean whatever route suits you, no pressure.

I personally just started realizing all my goals are coming to my attention all at once. I have tuition, career goals, relationship growths, and traveling ideas. Its all overwhelming, but step by step i will get there. I don’t have the answers either.

Oh and i hate to stress this AGAIN. BUT, Social media validation will get you depressed. Ever heard the quote “hope your life is as awesome as it appears to be on ____?” well yeah. Don’t let the posts of others confuse or intimidate you for direction or your pace. Follow and be inspired by the positive ones who encourage you to stand out as yourself, not to fit into what everyone else is doing. Don’t be victim to the norm. Find YOUR niche. Think for yourself. Choose you and your mind.

Life gives no answers, the confusion of not knowing and just living gives us the balance of anxiety and excitement.

Here’s to a life that is to be continued and choosing to complete the puzzle that is you.

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Artwork by one of my favorite artists Christina Nicola. I pull a lot of feeling and inspiration from her work she is very talented!

Instagram : @christina.nicola

Website : http://www.christinanicola.me

 

 

 

CLOSURE

So I haven’t made any blog posts in a while and its mainly because I’ve been trying to balance work, school, fun time/friends and new projects .. so sorry, but I got something to talk about.

We need to talk about CLOSURE  and confronting problems that we have deep-rooted.

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Lately, I’ve been coming across a lot of people who are going through tough times and the only thing missing is their lack of closure and acceptance.
For example, a bad break up. After you have a bad break up or end a friendship or whatever the case may be ; of course words were being said.





Words are said either hurtful or just constructive but they may build up feelings of animosity or make you feel uncomfortable about the situation. And i get it, some people don’t always want to talk it out with you in order for you to let out what you feel. But if not, you must accept that and deal with it yourself by practicing forgiveness.
I think we need to close all situations in life in a comfortable common ground space. To me it is essential to deal with WHY something ended and remember the lessons we were supposed to learn about the situation at hand. If you’ve been through too much at once u need time to recuperate and digest what life is conveying to you.




You must appropriately take the space u need to reflect to yourself for a moment.

See people tend to use toxic coping methods to release bad energy and i don’t think that is good at all. Avoiding your problems only mean you can never get a solution for them. So if u keep arguing about the same thing or drinking/ smoking to forget about a certain situation I doubt you will get in the state of mind you should be in. Or rather move past it on a new page.



Try to reflect to yourself about it. Get to know YOU as a person and understand this is something you have to go through in order to grow.
I know I’m not being specific but this applies for relationships, friendships or just basic life incidents. We need to understand ourselves more, we need to grow and take space to recognize the things we are going through. We have to not be afraid to feel what we are feeling. It makes us humans. It makes us stronger and wiser as individuals. I hate when people go around the world mad and wondering why they keep going through the same thing or feeling the same way over and over. And it’s because you haven’t confronted whats making you feel this way to begin with.

When we get closure from things we get back up and try again with a different outlook. We tend to have a better perspective and don’t take the past out on others. Our insides are clean of all negative and bad vibes.



Let’s close one chapter before we open another.
So try it guys. Have an open mind.
Just a thought. 

How to Stop Worrying

As of lately, I’ve been going through a lot of things and I find myself worrying a lot, so I’m just going to take the time out to share some of the tactics I came across that kind of helped me through the process of worrying too much. I hope it helps, because it helped me a lot. You’re not alone.


HOW TO STOP WORRYING

  1. Remind yourself that worrying doesn’t stop things happening. Things will happen — or not happen — anyway.
  2. Recognize that “What Ifs” don’t usually help with problem solving. It’s better to use logic, and brain storm for solutions. Take control of your emotions by using rational thinking.
  3. Motivate yourself by something other than worrying. Take a break and do something fun, and then go back to your work again. That positive approach will reap more benefits.
  4. Face your fears — and do the things that you worry about. The thought is often much worse than the actual thing you fear.
  5. Ask yourself ” What’s the worst thing that could happen? ” Then, “What are the chances that it will happen?” Then “Will you survive it, if it happens, in the end?” Usually, that helps to move us from an extreme and irrational way of thinking to a more realistic, and reasonable way of thinking.
  6. Teach yourself a range of relaxation strategies — and then concentrate on them instead of on your different fears. Or, adopt a mindful approach — and keep your focus on “right now”

I just want to add to this, that there is nothing wrong with worrying. But worrying does make you FEEL worse. Just remember that nothing lasts forever. The thing you’re going through, you’re going THROUGH it, it will end.  I know it feels like the end of the world, and its sooo tough but you will make it through it. And day by day is the best way to take it. Just continue to talk about it to the people you love. I prefer people that can relate. People that will let you be in your feelings, not push you into a temporary different one. People that will let you be you in all stages. You don’t have to get over it any sooner than you feel necessary. The more you avoid it, the more you just brush it under the rug and never confront it, it will have a hold on you. Music helps.  Be cautious of advice, but Listen anyway. Sometimes you have to listen to yourself because you know what is best for you. And you know what YOU want ultimately. Look at it from all sides, outweigh the good and bad. Act on instinct not on impulse, and think things out before making any drastic moves. Keep a positive outlook on the situation. Oh and PATIENCE. Patience is the hardest thing out of worrying. You want what will happen to happen already but for real, just let it play itself out. Whatever happens will happen on its own in due time, but give it the appropriate space it needs until you are fully ready to deal with it. BE STRONG. DON’T GIVE UP.


Oh here’s an inspirational song that I like! Very relevant to this topic I think. Very general.

You Be Alright by Music Soulchild. If you want to listen directly, here’s the link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORDIapqC5_A)

Thanks for reading! Stay UP! -Rach

SOUL REJUVENATION

A few messages of guidance.

YOUTH NOTICE


NEVER SETTLE.

  • Never settle for less than you deserve.
  • Never settle because you think its going to get better.
  • Never settle because you’re afraid of crushing what you built and starting all over.
  • If you feel like you’re settling, get uncomfortable and show it.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO PROVE YOUR WORTH.

  • You don’t have to go out of your comfort zone to show someone you’re right for them.
  • If they don’t see it, don’t force it.
  • You are good enough and you are worthy.
  • If not for that person, for another person. You will live.

BE SELFISH WITH YOURSELF.

  • Put yourself first.
  • Do things that will benefit your heart.
    *Sometimes we hurt ourselves to make others happy*
  • Don’t do things for people you almost are positive wouldn’t do for you in hopes that they will recognize the gesture and return it.
  • Make decisions in favor of you.

BE PATIENT BUT NOT TOO PATIENT.

  • Take the time to feel things out
  • Get to know someone in and out before making any drastic decisions.
  • BUT, don’t be stringed along on a ride to lala land hoping it ends well.
  • Demand clarity without feeling naggy.
  • Gain respect.
  • Be in partial control of direction.

BE CAREFUL OF ATTACHMENT.

When you really get deeply involved and feel like you really like someone and need them in your life…always remember that you had a life before them.

You don’t have to stop seeing them but you have to remember to exist without them.

  • Do your own thing.
  • Make them miss you.
  • In the end, you make yourself happy. Do what makes you happy.

YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE’S MINDSET.

Sometimes without noticing it we try to move people’s insight little by little. I know some of us land people in deep dark spaces and want to help guide them but ..

  • Be careful, don’t push it.
  • You can give a few optimistic words here and there.
  • If someone is stern and stuck on their position, let it be.
  • Never mess with a person’s belief.
  • Never mess with who they are.
  • They will learn or not.
  • You can’t save them.

But if you do save them, accept the fact that you might have to set them free and your purpose in their life might only be that.


DO NOT EXPECT.

Living life with Expectations ruins everything

  • Do not expect.
  • Expecting is good sometimes but most times lead to disappointment.
  • The only expectations you should practice are the expectations of yourself.
  • Go with the flow, let shit happen.
  • Don’t like the flow? Change it or stop riding it!

I just want you all to remember that, you have control over you. Nobody can dictate that. Treat yourself well.

A Black Woman’s Hair and Skin

These two videos represent Black Women of all colors and hair textures. Very Uplifting.

Featuring AndreUncut and MarkusPrime

Love yourself.

Black Woman with the dreads, Black woman with the braids, Black woman with the relaxer, Black woman with the fro, Black woman with the faux locs, Black woman with the weave, Black woman with the wig, Black woman with the curls, and Black woman with the bald head.

Embrace it. Embrace you. We are unique because we are versatile. We are unique because we come in all shapes, sizes and colors of melanin. Let’s continue to wave greatnesss and be beautiful.

@andreuncut (instagram)

@markusprimelives (instagram)